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Todays Weird news: Monkeys, Sheep, Rednecks and the Butt Bandit

Every so often I read some weird stories that you can’t help laugh at, here are a few of the best from today.

What an arse

I laughed when I heard today that some dude from Nebraska, affectionately known as the “Butt Bandit” has been put in the one place you shouldn’t expose your rear – jail…

The 35 year old was given a 13 and a half month sentence after he exposed his flabby cheeks no less than eight times last year.

Monkey Business

A women tried to smuggle a monkey down her top on a flight from Thailand to LA after pretending she was pregnant, however she was busted and has been convicted with smuggling.

What’s worrying about this is that the woman, accompanied by her mother, managed to smuggle the primate through the ‘top notch’ Los Angeles customs.

Amazingly the monkey smuggler was busted when she explained her daring act to a clothing store assistant. The monkey is now living in a primate rescue centre in Oregon.

Baaaad luck

A mechanic who repairs tractors for a living has had his £275,000 workshop burned to the ground by a sheep.

Yes…a sheep.

The man said that a sheep from a nearby paddock broke a waterline to a pressure pump in his workshop, causing the pump to run dry, overheat then catch fire.
He told the paper: “My whole life is tied up in this business, not only my ability to earn a living. It’s left a huge hole which is indescribable.”

Dumb Ass commits crime, tries to escape. Fails.

Every good criminal knows that you should really run as far away from the police after you’ve committed a crime, but one complete dumbass decided to hide in the local Police Academy.

The man robbed a petrol station in Ohio with his mate before fleeing in a pick-up truck (what else). A police officer saw the vehicle and pulled it over only for the passenger to make a run for it. Unfortunately for him he ran right up to the Academy, and after coming face to face with a locked door, surrendered like a sissy girl. His hapless mate surrendered without a fight.

“That is a little comical,” said Columbus police Sgt. Greg Bodker.

“One of the officers was directly behind the suspect who fled on foot so I don’t believe he would have gotten in there, but he did get to the porch and attempt to open the doors.”

What a tool.

Tags: Funny, nudity, stupidity, Weird

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